Classical Theism and Contingencies

This post is a continuation on my thoughts on open vs. classical theism. I tend to lean towards classical theism, but I would like to point out that I find it difficult to consider there to be contingencies from God's perspective under classical theism.

I do agree that from our perspective there are multiple contingencies. We have the free will to choose, but I believe God knows the outcome of these events. If He does know the outcome of all future contingencies, then it is not really a contingency in my mind, but I am content with that now. I can put my trust in God's plan, but I think it is also very important to realize that we do have free will. We must continue to honor God in everything we do. We must realize that God gave us free will to do great things in His name (even if He knows what we will do).

I was concerned over the idea of our limited potential under classical theism. The idea that we are limited to what God has planned for us, but as I said, I feel content with that now. I do not think we are meant to think we are limited. The whole idea of free will is to give us potential to do great things, and we must realize the great potential that we have. We should act on our potential. God knew our potential from the beginning. He knows the potential we will choose to attain, and He is content with the outcome. It should be comforting that God knows every outcome in advance. No matter how godly we are or how much we struggle, He is always there, and He is content with the decisions that we make. He may be saddened by our missteps or joyed by our godliness, but He has always been aware of those events. Ultimately, we did/do make those decisions. We must remember that God is separate from time. He allowed us to make our decisions, but He was instantly aware of all those decisions when He created us.

We have the ability to be godly, righteous, and loving. Again, I feel it is important that we work towards our full potential because it is certainly possible that we get very close to reaching it. I believe God created us with that ability, and it would be cool if God blessed us enough to approach that potential.

Greg Boyd: Open Theism/Future

I just read this response to Greg Boyd's view of the future. Whether everything in the future is preordained and has a set path or whether there are multiple paths for the future (Boyd's view).

I just want to get my first impressions down. First, I now agree with most of the classical view that God knows all that will happen based on our free will, but I still had some arguments come up in my mind.

I found this paragraph particularly interesting because these statements seem to be saying exactly what I have interpreted from Boyd, but it is claimed that it is the classical view!

"Finally, classical theism offers several arguments for God's total omniscience, including future free acts. For one, an omniscient God knows all the states of reality, both actual and potential. God's knowledge is not simply of the actual; He also knows the potential. He knows both what is and what could be. He knows what will be and what can be. For God can know whatever is real in any way it can be known. And both the actual and the potential are real. Only the impossible has no reality. Thus, whatever is potential is real. This being the case, it follows that God can know what is potential as well as what is actual.²⁶ This means that God can know future contingents, that is, things that are dependent on free choice. For the future is a potential that pre-exists in God. And God knows whatever exists in Himself as the cause of those things.^27" 

So it is claimed that God can know future contingents (options) that are dependent on free will.....I thought this is what we were arguing about. Unless I am misinterpreting this paragraph, the same argument is being made, so I will try to explain why I feel this dude and Boyd may be correct on this specific topic.

Saying that God knows all future contingents, is saying that he does not know for certain exactly what will play out. This DOES NOT mean that prophecies in the Bible may not occur. The point is that God left free will to us. He knows each of us has the potential to take many different directions in life with His guidance, but His overall vision for His creation will not change. For instance, you may have been around the day Jesus was to be crucified, but there is nothing you could have done differently to change what would happen. Jesus dying on the cross for humanity was His plan. However, you could have prayed to God today to bring yourself closer to Him. Based on that prayer you feel inspired to make a change in your life that you did not see before. That was your free will to pray. Given to you by God. You could have chosen not to pray. God knew both contingents. Both of them may have eventually led you to the same place, but they are different contingencies nonetheless. He knows an infinite number of contingencies, but none of those contingencies stray from His ultimate plan. 

Do I believe this? While reading this response article, I got the sense that I could conceive a reality where God has ONE plan. Where every detail is already determined. God just knows how free will plays out for everyone. I'm still very much on the fence on this one...here are my thoughts on both.

I would rather live in a world where people have a range of potentials to serve and glorify God than a world where people have free will....but really God already knows where our free will takes us. God has the ability to inspire us to change. We have the option to not change. He wants us to love Him, and that is only possible through our choice. God is infallible and omnipotent, but He gave us the option to come to Him. For this reason, I believe individuals have varying potentials granted to them by God. He knows that full range in an infinite detail. He ultimately decides the fate of creation, but it is up to creation to choose which path they go down to reach His goal.

....but, here is the other side of it for me. God knows all time and all the intricacies within that time. He knows each of us infinitely well. For this reason, he knows exactly which decisions we will freely make. He knows when we will pray and when we will not. He knows when we will glorify Him and when we will not. From the instant of creation, he knew this. There is then one plan with no contingencies. 

Advice for the Poor: Getting into College

Here is my first post to my series of "Advice for the Poor". I am basing most of this information on experience. Also, I do not touch on every process involved with getting into college (e.g. interviews, visits, recommendations, etc.), but I give some of the basic advice with detail in areas where you can save money.

Here is a summary of the financial advice if you want the good stuff without sifting through the paragraphs below. 2 SAT Tests, 2 SAT Subject Tests, and 4 application fee waivers are available to anyone that qualifies for free or reduced lunches. Look at ANY college that interests you. Financial aid is available everywhere (especially seemingly expensive private schools). I expand on the rest of the college preparation process with the rest of this post, and an outline is directly below:

1. Work hard
2. Find passion
3. List of colleges (no limits!)
4. SAT
5. SAT Subject Tests
6. Applications
7. Financial Aid

1. My first bit of advice is to work hard and get the best grades you can in the most difficult classes you can handle. It is the most obvious and important advice for anyone looking to go to college. Grades and your strength of schedule will be a major factor in the application process.

2. I will talk a lot about standardized tests, but something that is often overlooked is finding something outside of school that you are passionate about. Many people think you have to be involved with a lot of different activities and clubs for your college application, but that is not true. In fact, many people try overloading themselves like that and either cannot handle it or get very little out of their experiences. I suggest finding one major activity. It could be a sport, a club, an instrument, an organization, or even your own project. Find something you love and pour your heart into it. The results will be great for you and your application, and money is not required just diligence.

3. The first 2 points were to work hard in school and find a passion. Those are 2 things you should get started on early in high school or even in middle school. In the next paragraph, I will begin talking about standardized tests, but at around the same time you are starting to think about the SAT (10th grade), you should also be making an initial list of colleges that interest you. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY COST!!!! It does not matter how much a college costs because financial aid is available to you. Private schools that appear more expensive typically have more funds available for financial aid, so although they appear more expensive, they are actually cheaper than public schools are financial aid is applied.

It is possible that you will be required to pay nothing for school, but if financial aid does not cover everything, then there are very good government loans available to students with need. This initial list can be very big if you want (aim for 10-25 schools with a range of selectivity), but by the time you apply for schools, you probably want to narrow it down to 4 to 12 schools.

4. Now, let's get to the big standardized tests. These will be another major factor. Make sure to take the PSAT in 10th grade. Do not be discouraged by these results. It is almost certain that your actual SAT scores will be higher than these results. After you get these results, you can start studying the format of the SAT and taking practice tests. There are plenty of special courses you can sign up for to get 'professional' help and practice, but most of these will be out of your price range. I would advise you to buy a relatively new SAT book (generally the more practice exams the better). This book should cost somewhere between $10 and $20, and it is well worth the cost. If you have a good public library and really do not want to spend the money on a book, then you may be able to find a SAT practice book there. Take some time during the summer after 10th grade to study the SAT and take a few practice tests. I would suggest refreshing yourself throughout your junior year by taking just a few hours every month to do some practice problems.

Take the SAT at the end of your junior year if possible. I know you may be concerned about the cost of the test, but guess what? You probably don't have to pay! If you qualify for free or reduce lunches, then you qualify for 2 FREE SAT Tests and 2 FREE SAT Subject Tests! Here is a link to the chart for income eligibility. For example in 2011-12, a family of 4 that makes less than $41k qualifies! Just go to your guidance counselor and ask them about it. If they don't know about it (like mine), then tell them it exists or show them the website personally.

5. Ok, so you are taking challenging classes, getting good grades, found something your passionate about, and are ready for the SAT at the end of your junior year. What else should you be thinking about? Well, it sounds let you are on the right path, but some of the schools you are aiming for may require SAT Subject Tests (especially if you are looking at some very selective schools). Do your research on what is required and which tests would work for you. Remember that you have 2 fee waivers for subject tests (you can take up to 3 subject tests at once, so really this could cover up to 6 subjects! But that shouldn't be necessary).

6. Now, let's say it is the summer of your senior year. It is time to begin applications! Get started early because you do not want to be just starting when you are busy with your senior year. College applications do cost money, BUT you can probably get out of paying anything. First, you have 4 college application fee waivers through the same process as the SAT fee waivers. If you are applying to more than 4 schools, then email colleges asking if they could waive the fee because you may have financial difficulties. This usually works, but they may ask for some paperwork to proof your family's income.

7. Once all the applications are in, then you can sit back and wait. You can begin working on your financial aid. This can be a long process especially if your parents are not familiar with doing their own taxes. It can be done by yourself. You will need to ask your parents for a copy of their tax returns. The rest you can probably figure out online. MAKE SURE TO KEEP UP WITH FINANCIAL AID DEADLINES. The financial aid package will probably be very important to your decision. Getting all the paperwork in on time will insure that you are considered for aid and that you receive your package as soon as possible.

You should have plenty of options with varying costs. Make sure to make a smart financial decision, but you must also use your gut and follow your heart if you have more than one viable option. The school for you is not necessarily the cheapest one.

I hope this was helpful! Let me know if you have any questions.

Society Scaring Men from Women?

I thought of this theory of why men have difficulty talking to women. I have read several articles over the past few years about how men are not being 'men' anymore. They are not getting married and settling down. There seems to be a disconnect between males and females. I do not really believe my theory, but since I have not heard it anywhere before, I am going to claim it as my own.

The primary resource for my theory is this observation by Bill Burr. He has this bit about how guys can't be around children anymore because of the widespread coverage of men inappropriately touching children. This creates an awkwardness for men whenever children come around because they are afraid someone is going to call them out as being a pedophile for any interaction they have with children. My theory may not be true, but I am convinced this observation is true. It is sooooo sad. The clip is below:



I wonder if there is a similar dynamic that has been created between men and women. There certainly is no end to the stories of men doing terrible things to women. Does this create an awkwardness in men when they are around women they do not know or do not know well. I'm sure these stories of men were not thrown in the face of every man a few decades ago, which may explain the recent change in society.

 If it relates to the Bill Burr bit, then guys would instantly stop being open, throw their arms up, and say how,  'My hands are up high. I am not aroused' whenever they are around a woman. Haha, this may be an exaggeration, but there seems to be a little truth to it. Guys may feel they cannot flirt with woman because they will be labeled as a jerk, a guy that just wants a one-night stand, or worse!

Ok, there is my theory. Someone go design an experiment and figure out how to test this hypothesis.

Healthy Lunch Meals for Work

PBJ
+2 Whole grain or whole wheat bread is almost essential. Look for at least 3 g of protein and 3 g of fiber PER SLICE (a lot of breads put there serving size as 2 slices, which makes the protein and fiber look higher)
+1 Instead of Jelly pack just a Peanut Butter Sandwich and eat with fruit (banana goes great with Peanut Butter)
+1 All natural peanut butter requires a bit of mixing sometimes because the oil separates, but it is preservative free with no trans fat...but I will admit it is not that much better nutritionally than regular homogenized peanut butter

SANDWICH
+2 Leftover meat (You want to avoid deli and pre-sliced meat as much as possible because it is full of salts and preservatives. Also, lunch meat is linked to various forms of cancer.)
+2 Whole grain or whole wheat bread is almost essential. Look for at least 3 g of protein and 3 g of fiber
+1 CHEESE is always good in moderation


Tuna
I haven't tried this yet, but you could pack a container of tuna or buy the pouches. Eat by itself, on bread, or on bread with CHEESE. Remember not to eat too much tuna because of the mercury. I would suggest no more than twice a week (5-6 ounces/week).
+2 Whole grain or whole wheat bread is almost essential. Look for at least 3 g of protein and 3 g of fiber PER SLICE (a lot of breads put there serving size as 2 slices, which makes the protein and fiber look higher)
+1 CHEESE is always good in moderation

Hard-Boiled Eggs
I have also not tried this one, but very easy in concept. I'm not sure what else to eat with it. Maybe bread? I also eat too many eggs already, so I would prefer to keep eggs to breakfast.
+2 Whole grain or whole wheat bread is almost essential. Look for at least 3 g of protein and 3 g of fiber PER SLICE (a lot of breads put there serving size as 2 slices, which makes the protein and fiber look higher)

SNACKS

• NUTS (any nuts...I like pistachios, almonds, and soybeans)
• YOGURT
• +1 Greek yogurt (double the protein, but roughly double the price)
• FRUIT (any fruit...I like bananas, apples, oranges, and raisins)
• VEGETABLES (any vegetable...I have only gotten into baby carrots so far)
• +1 Add Peanut Butter onto CELERY 
• MILK (yes, one day I will pack a small jug of milk)
• PROTEIN/ENERGY BAR (always good to have a meal replacement if you cannot eat)
• TRISCUITS (I love my triscuits)
• +1 Pack some CHEESE to add on top

My Spiritual Journey I

I wanted to highlight some of the resources that have been helpful to me in my spiritual journey. These resources are in no way comprehensive. There were many factors that influenced me. Many of which I am aware and probably even more that I do not even realize. My main reason for wanting to write this post is for myself, but it would also be awesome if this post encourages others or helps others to find answers to their spiritual or religious questions.

I started with reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. Many of my questions about Christianity and simply believing in God were answered after reading Mere Christianity, but it didn't shift my beliefs. It did encourage me to keep looking.

I began reading a forum based on my personality type of INTP (although I have retaken the test and may be an INTJ). Either way, intpforum.com gave me an insight into the way people that think like me see their spirituality. Most of the people on this forum could be classified as atheist, but there are also a significant number of people that consider themselves to be Christians, which was surprising to me. A large factor that led to everything 'clicking' in my head was one specific thread.

In this thread, members were very honest with their faith. There was also a very rational argument made for and against Christianity. I think many of the arguments in this thread are unique. I would like to emphasize this point because many people claim to make rational arguments for Christianity, but most of these points are recycled lines of reasoning that non-believers have heard before. For example, the something from nothing question. Having faith certainly helps me answer that question, but I know that this argument will not persuade too many non-believers. (Actually, I think this is an interesting question for non-believers to wrestle with, but I encourage believers to not push the answer. It is very difficult to come to the conclusion of a Creator if you have never considered the argument. Also, it is very difficult for me to believe something that goes against my beliefs. I immediately collect all the evidence contrary to your point just as a reaction, which prevents me from actually figuring it out on my own. Maybe ask the question, present your argument and maybe even the atheist/agnostic argument fairly and let them figure it out. You can mention what you believe, but I do not think that is helpful unless they are really pushing you for your opinion.)  Logically, we do not know how everything came into existence. If you cannot determine a solution by reason, then does that mean you should guess?!? Everything may have just happened from some weird anomaly we do not understand. Maybe this matter has always been here and our concept of time is preventing us from accepting this. Maybe a higher entity created everything. Maybe it was the ole Flying Spaghetti Monster! I often feel believers will ask this question to non-believers as if the only possible answer is God, or as if it is a fill-in-the-blank question and the only thing that seems to make sense is God (and it sure is optimistic, right?). I feel it is perfectly acceptable logically to just leave it blank. We do not know.

There is a place for logic and reasoning in coming to faith, but logic alone will not bring someone to believe. A large part of this thread is made up of Christians arguing that strict logic is inadequate for answering these important questions. I know that sounds ridiculous to many people, but it is explained much more eloquently in that thread I linked earlier if you are curious.

Many people, including myself, tend to believe that agnosticism is the only logical belief because you cannot prove God does or does not exist. I struggled with many of my doubts for more than 2 months while using intpforum.org to read how like-minded individuals have thought through similar questions. One night, mentally exhausted, I was talking to a friend. I had been spending hours each day looking for answers to all my questions, and it was not helping me. My friend had told me many times before that I could not find the answer to all my questions, or my friend would ask, 'if I did have all the information, would that make a difference'. I always dismissed these statements because it seemed obvious that I had to understand everything really well for me to make such a drastic decision in my life. I felt I could not simply ignore them and pretend to believe.

Well, my friend told me again something along those lines when she noticed how exhausted I was that night. At that moment, I remembered that similar line of reasoning from that thread. It was basically the same idea. Here is the exact post I went to:

By entering the fray of experience you will grow. You may decide by the end of all your experience that you are still an atheist, but you will be a far wiser atheist. For example, in India we found ourselves in a small town up in the middle of the Himalayas. People dressed in bright yellow scarves and saris were pouring down the street all headed in one direction. Some people approached us and asked if we would visit their temple and join in a banquet. We found out later that they were Sikhs and that hospitality is central to their religion. So we went to the temple to be greeted by everyone and were freely offered food and drink.

Now I didn't become a sikh but it made me warm towards them and open to their ways. I look back now and feel they have a way to God that is different to Christianity but in some ways similar - the emphasis on giving and welcoming and loving your neighbour. Experience makes things more complex and makes the experiencer more open and flexible. Less resistant and closed. Of course, I believe that in exploring a faith you will find God - how, when, which religion etc is none of my business.

But you won't find God going round and round and round and round in your head. Some change has to enter the system from somewhere, otherwise you'll be having the same thoughts in 10 years time that you're having today - scary thought.

Its the same point I made back a few posts about leadership. If no-one takes a stand, nothing will change and the situation will be the same for younger people growing up in ten years time as it is today.

The problem is that there is nothing that anyone can say that will influence your thoughts and feelings about God/god. Only you can do that and that's if you want to. If you don't want to, well, I suppose it's back to reading Richard Dawkins! If you do want to, you have to do something different today than you did yesterday - otherwise you'll be stuck in the same old constructs year after year.

Still, you may prefer it like that.


Something changed that night. I decided that I had learned enough and struggled with enough of my doubts. I had to open myself up to believing. From that point, I felt I could believe in God. I felt at peace with my thoughts for awhile, but I soon realized that understanding Christianity and developing my relationship with Christ was not going to be easy. So far, I have found that it is challenging, but nowhere near as emotionally draining as this process I just explained. I have had doubts since then, but I have been falling back to my faith and relationship with God. I wanted to get into some of the more recent books and sites that have been helpful to me, but that will have to wait until another post.

Joe Rogan inspired me to consider religion

I know this sounds ridiculous, but I think listening to Joe Rogan opened me up to considering religion. Many of you probably do not know Joe's philosophy and beliefs, but lets just say that he is generally anti-religion. That is the reason I started listening to him. This post will give you an insight into one of only rational reasons (I admit there were irrational reasons and reasons I cannot explain) I went from an agnostic atheist closed to discussions about God to an agnostic atheist open to discussions about God.

Joe does not say that religion is absolutely wrong, but he simply finds that it is ridiculous that people think they know what life is about. I infer that Joe thinks religion can do great things, but it can also do horrible things. He believes people need to stop saying they know what life is about and accept that we should be good, positive people because in some weird way we are all connected.

He is very open to spiritual debate. He is actually very open to any rational discussion. I really respect this quality about people. It is so relaxing, and I feel I can be completely open with these people. Unfortunately, these type of people have a very difficult time accepting Christ. They are agnostic about almost everything except for what can be proven rationally or scientifically.

I would like to expand on this 'connectedness' of us. Here is a quote about being inspired, being creative, and  having positive relationships with people from one of his podcasts: "I think it is all part of one big, giant thing. I think it is very hard for us to see because we have egos and all these natural instincts in place to ensure we keep doing what we're doing, but I think all together it is part of something giant. We just can't see it."

The second major topic Joe is very big on is the positive benefits of drugs. I know many people discount Joe for this reason, and I can understand if you do too. If you can get past that, then I will attempt to summarize the part that has most interested me. 

There is a chemical that is produced in your pineal gland called DMT. Your body gives you heavy doses of DMT in REM sleep and when you die. DMT is the reason you dream and people have visions near death. I haven't read too much scientific literature about DMT or the pineal gland, but it seems to be not well understood why our body needs this. It seems to be important as it is located in the center of our brain. This gland has several hormonal functions in the body as well.

*This information comes mostly from Joe Rogan and one scientific source that does not appear to have been confirmed in the scientific community. It has not been proven that DMT is produced in the pineal gland. It is simply a hypothesis. I'm not sure why it hasn't been researched further.*

There has been some conjecture that the pineal gland connects our body and soul. This is what interested me. Joe takes DMT as a psychedelic. He states that it is the strongest psychedelic you can take (which is interesting that we are effectively taking a heavy does every night). From what I heard, I became increasingly convinced that we may truly have a soul and that there might be something greater to life. 

There may be dimensions around us that we simply do not have the capability of sensing. Maybe DMT can connect us to these dimensions. Maybe it gives us a glimpse. If it is, then it is interesting that our body seems to erase these memories quickly as I'm sure most of you know from dreaming (Joe finds the same problem with taking DMT). Like we aren't suppose to be getting this glimpse. Maybe these experiences are simply random dreams/visions. If so, I still believe it may be a sign of our body desiring something abstract that we can't really grasp. I know dreams can seem very random sometimes, but every once in awhile a dream will tell you something you never considered or be very, very abstract.

So, my only rational reasons for considering any religion were: (1) this strange connectedness all humans have with one another that I cannot really explain. You may say evolutionary psychology explains this, which may be true to a degree. The beauty and intricacy of this connection leads me to believe that even if it was caused by evolutionary psychology, then God inspired this evolution in our creation. And (2) the very real possibility that there is something more out there that we as humans simply cannot sense or comprehend.

I just realized this when I stumbled on one of his rants on youtube. I do not agree with many of his spiritual/religious opinions nor wonder about DMT now, but I respect this guy for seeking the truth for himself. I believe his thoughts are in the right direction about materialism, loving others by perpetuating positive energy, avoiding the traps of individualism, and finding what inspires you, so I would like to thank Joe Rogan to opening my mind to some of life's great mysteries.

What happened to my brussel sprouts?

I apologize for my previous post. I didn't feel it was very complete. As my loyal followers, you're probably worrying about my health and might be wondering how I got sick. I'm not exactly sure myself, but I can tell you what I know and maybe you guys can help me figure it out.

It all started on Wednesday, May 4th, at the Meeting of the Minds. From 12-2:30pm, I presented my honors research to thousands of people. Some were young, some were old, some seemed interested, some didn't care. Either way, I talked and stood for long periods of time many times.

At 2:30pm, I went down to the CIT poster competition awards ceremony, where my boy, Jacobo, won first prize! At the reception, there were also a lot of delicious omnoms, including cheeses, crackers, fruits, and punch of unknown substances.

When I went home, my throat was hurting a little and I had I feeling I was getting sick, but nobody believed me. It's probably because I whine a lot, sort of like the "boy who cried wolf". The next day, I really felt the pain. In addition, I sat in the library all day working on my research paper and I ended up hurting my back real bad. It was awful. I went to bed at around 4am or so and could not really sleep well, woke up at 7am feeling like an old fogey. I underwent lots of icings, restings, a nice shower, and multiple drugs to try to fix my back.

Now, I'm just thankful that my back isn't hurting anymore, but something happened to my brussel sprouts. And Jacobo is kinda getting out of hand right now. He keeps touching me. Definitely had too much to drink. I tried giving him a pillow to divert his attention, but that did not last long. Now, he is acting EXTREMEly inappropriately and it's making me feel uncomfortable and violated. Luckily, I know how to cross Jacobo's boundaries.

K. Gotta make sure Jacobo doesn't miss the toilet.

Mad loves,
JaySizzle

Eating some Jalapeño Chips

Chipsy chipsy. I'm eating some spicy, spicy chips.

Someone give me my toilet paper ; )

So i'm lil bit sick... you know how it is. Just hangin' on the coach realaxin... eating some spicy, spicy chips

Catch you on the flipity flip

Crazy weather we're having here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States.

Today is a nice day. Actually, it's an amazing day! But it won't last according to weather.com. I should really be outdoors, enjoying the few hours of sunshine that we have here in Pittsburgh, but I'm not. Instead, I am stuck inside making maps of cricks. At least I won't have to put on sunscreen. I do not like putting on sunscreen. It makes my skin look whiter than it already is. I'm contemplating going all out to get burned really bad over the summer so that my skin would create more freckles and then maybe I'll look darker. I wonder what my followers think of this (Please comment). I also wonder how many freckles I have. I think I have more than 150. How many freckles do you have (Please comment)? This wind feels nice. I wish I had longer hair so that I can see my hair moving in the wind. That would be the bomb-diggity. What else would be the bomb-diggity? Jumping to the roof of the children's center in Morewood. Oh wait... already did that! WHAT UPPPPPP. I wish I wasn't such a pansy though and had explored more while I was up there. I guess there's always next time. No, I only have three weeks left! That is insane! Oh man, my map looks distorted. Maybe the world is distorted. Followers, I think I just had a light bulb moment. If the world is distorted, does that make us distorted? Sometimes I wonder if I'm distorted. Not just my face, but in my head; my thoughts are pretty twisted (Sorry, that was mean of me to say that to myself, sorry me! apology accepted). Seriously though, deep down, I'm afraid that I actually do want to see human centipede (see post). Now I feel like I'm going in circles with my posts. What if all posts went in circles? I think they would get dizzy. Sometimes I get dizzy when I stand up too fast. Or when I'm twirling in Amanda's chair. Twirly chairs are awesome. I wish I had a twirly chair. Actually, maybe not because then I would be tempted to always be dizzy and then I would walk like a drunk person. I don't think my research advisor would appreciate that. I wonder if Wisconsin has twirly chairs. What other chairs would be fun to sit on? The chairs in the baker cluster are super comfortable. I need to go chairing. I need a good projection. I seriously don't know what is wrong with my map. But I'll figure it out. I'm a smart guy. I'm a smart guy. I'm a smart guy. Seriously! What is wrong with my map? I don't even think smart guys can figure this bugger out. Uh oh! I think I broke it. Okay, until next time FIVE followers! I need to do my work. Check out the weather! Crazy Pittsburgh!

Mad Loves,
JaySizzle

Canoes and Riches

"You can canoe a man to lands' of riches, but if you teach a man to canoe, then he will never be in need of riches." - Benjamin Cowley

I think this quote points out people's complacency with life when they find their riches. They get stuck in one place. They get stuck in monotony. If you teach a man to explore and look for new experiences, then he will not worry about riches. His life will be more fulfilling than someone with massive riches stuck in one place. 

So please ask yourself, "Am I living my life in a land of riches? Or am I living it in a fucking canoe?" - Cowley

My Beliefs in Question

Over the past couple weeks, I have been really struggling with many life questions and the stream of problems thrown on members of my family. Recently, it has cumulated with me questioning my views on religion. My views have been that there may be a God, but religion seems too flawed to be the answer. I recognize that churches and religious people do a lot of good, but I would expect that moral individuals are not concentrated in any one religion or group (agnostics, atheists). I believe humans are ingrained with natural ethics although God may have endowed us with these ethics. I see the Bible as a great tool for guidance in life, but how can I believe that it is the word of God?

There is so much in the Bible that just seems indefensible. I've heard the argument that these verses were written for a different time and no longer apply, but how do we know what should and shouldn't apply? Some say parts of the Bible are not the word of God through misinterpretation and human manipulation, but then how do we know if any of it is truly the word of God? Even if all Scripture was at some point the word of God, has God been controlling man to make accurate translation and stopping man from changing/reinterpreting His word?  I feel more comfortable finding that God gave me the moral ability to understand that slavery, sexism, animal sacrifice, etc. are wrong than trying to draw my ethical guidelines from writings that seem to have problems with these areas.

I remember going to church when I was 10-14. I would listen to the sermons and understand the message, but quickly got bored by the interpretation that drove in the same point over and over again. I enjoyed reading, so instead of listening some days, I would just read the Bible myself. I remember a pivotal moment when I asked my dad and grandmother what happens to all those people born in other countries that do not practice our religion or no religion at all. It didn't make sense to me that certain people would practice a certain religion and be saved based purely on the geographic location of their upbringing.

I started casually reading scientific books in high school. I remember reading a chapter in Science Friction by Michael Shermer where it really hit me that I might not believe anymore. I remember finally getting to a part of the book that was really questioning why and how humans obtain religious beliefs. I was always comfortable incorporating science into my own religious views, but I had stumbled upon something that made sense and questioned having religious beliefs all together. I remember I got scared. I don't think I finished the book after that.

My father stopped making my brother and I to go to church once I reached high school.  We went for some holidays with my grandmother, but the older I got the less I went. I remember praying throughout high school and even during the start of college, but I haven't truly prayed where I believed I was communicating with God for many years.

Well, I attended church for the first time in at least 2 years. I walked back to campus with a friend, and she explained some of her beliefs to me. It was all understandable and respectable. It reinforced a feeling that I've had for awhile. I want to believe and have faith, but I don't understand how I can get there. I guess I could start looking for a church and try understanding the Bible. I know I can believe in a God, but do I need a religion to strengthen my relationship with God? I will continue to treat others as I would like to be treated. I will continue to strive to be just and fair to everyone around me, but am I really being that good of a person?

Something I recently found that is lacking in my life is caring for and helping others. I feel hurt by this epiphany. I've tried to rationalize that I have been too busy helping myself and my family that I lose sight of helping those millions of people that have it worse than we do. At times I have given all my money to help my brother be successful and he has helped me in the same way. I would do anything to help my mom or dad through their problems also, but I have not thought too much of going out of my way to help others. I can't really focus anymore because I constantly feel myself questioning my identity/direction. I was comfortable with the way I was making decisions, but now, I feel myself questioning my motivations. I wonder if it is time to for me try religion again, but that effort seems so great.

Career Thoughts

I think I want a career in this area at Wisconsin because it will allow me to pursue a career in watershed management/watershed sciences. There aren't many groups looking at the interactions of ecosystems, water resources, and other water dependent processes such as agriculture, industry, and drinking water. I'm starting to get a feeling that I will want to return to PA to protect the environment and address the challenges involving PA's water resources.  At the moment, the major issues are supplying clean drinking water and maintaining our strong ecological areas as pressures increase from natural gas drilling and development.  The Chesapeake Bay is also a major issue as PA is responsible for the water quality that ends up there.

There is an even larger issue that I'm interested in of creating a water resources management framework that is completely sustainable.  Eventually, I see this framework spreading across the United States as water supplies are redirected from water-rich areas to depleted areas.  I feel this will be a very important step as America's infrastructure needs improved/replaced. There will be an opportunity to improve on our old system and implement a sustainable solution instead of just patching and copying old designs. We could also create a template for other countries where freshwater supplies are an even larger issue.

I feel the question of getting a PhD or an MS is also important in determining if I eventually want to be involved with these big picture problems. PhDs will be asked to solve these problems, but I think many PhD's work often does unnoticed as many ideas are never implemented. I feel an MS will be sufficient for allowing me to get access to the organizations involved with these problems, and also, allow me to climb to more managerial positions where I can guide the direction of projects.

Real Recognize Real Series: Dave Chappelle

Dave Chappelle has been out of the spotlight since fleeing to South Africa during the filming of the 3rd season of Chappelle's Show.  He had been offered approximately $50 million for the 3rd season, but decided the pressure was too much.  He stated he was no longer enjoying himself and had to take inventory of what was really important to him.

Even before Chappelle's Show, Chappelle lived on a farm in Ohio with his wife and children. He continues to live there today. Since returning from South Africa, Chappelle shows up at locations around the country without much advertisement just to connect with an audience and tell jokes. I am amazed that Chappelle can turn down all the additional money he could be making, and instead, he does what he loves while sustaining a normal, healthy family.

His interview with Anderson Cooper is great. Also, if you are a huge Dave Chappelle fan like me you have to watch the Inside the Actors Studio with Dave Chappelle (~90 minutes long), which is where you can really get to know Dave as a person.

SHIMROCK

A poor young man went far too long without food. As he slowly withered away, his verbal processing followed. Below are a few accounts of my interactions with this man nicknamed SHIM.

Shim thinks dude is spelled with a "ool".

What a F-OOL.

...a few minutes later:

"and then GLEE brought it black" <-referring to the "L" on the forehead

...then a few minutes after that:
"I thought John wasn't wearing any feet"

Make sure to follow all of the SHIMROCK at http://benshim.tumblr.com/ and http://twitter.com/#!/bshimo

NEW COMPETITION

Jacob William Beatty and I, John James Sourbeer, have embarked on a new competition to try to win at being nice to people. Ready, set, go!!!

Kelly's Sleepy Ramblings

Kelly had some great dialogue in her sleep last night. I am not certain that all of the quotes are exactly correct, but they are the best of ALOW131 and JAYSIZZLE's memory.

"What is this?"

"I'm so confused about what is going on with that"

"hm?"

"Um. Yes, so you could do that and I could go and give people things. Heeheeheeh."

"Go to it."

"Yeah... yeah."

"What's the question?"

I WANNA

I want to sleep
I want to finish my work tomorrow
I want to study for the FE exam
I want a dime that is top of the line
I want to play soccer
I want to play basketball
I want to finish some more work
I want to decide on a grad school
I want to sleep
I want to freestyle soccer
I want to climb some trees
I want to throw stuff at stuff
I want to train a pack of dogs
I want to get my balla career goin'
I want to get some land out in the woods
I want to build my dream house on that land
I want that house to be net zero energy and water
I want a buncha kids
I want a buncha multi-racial kids
I want to sleep
I want that aforementioned wife
I want to swim in the water
I want to climb the mountains
I want to chill in the woods
I want to escape project life, run with my rifle, live in the woods, grow a rugged beard, and chill
I want to grow a rugged beard
I want to chill
I want to sleep

Cleaning up after my Roommate

I am going to clean up after my roommate, Jacob Beatty.
I really enjoy doing this.
I am going to fold up all his clothes even though I know that when he gets back, he's just going to unfold and undo everything I ever did for him. He's my best friend.
Jake told me to blog about something. He told me to read it. I want to assign this job to somebody else.
Should I make his bed? Are these clean clothes? It looks like it may have been folded at one point? Not sure. I should get a second opinion from Amanda. I have a great idea! I'm going to RAP them in a belt (get it? because I like rap and it sounds the same as wrap).
I think I'm going to give up on cleaning up after Jake because this is getting out of hand. I just moved his stuff onto Amanda's black chair. I guess it's better than moving it onto Amanda's blue couch. Where should I put Jake's bundle of clothing? I need a string, but I found a rubber band! I wonder if it would break with the weight of the clothes. Here I go!!! ... Yeah, I think the rubber band will break.
ANOTHER GREAT IDEA but I can't let Jake know about this. Jake, if you're reading, stop reading.... NOW. I just attached the bundle-belt-wrapped-pile-of-clothing-I-folded onto Jake's chair using a RUBBERBAND! I feel great about this. I think this is one of the best ideas I've ever had ever.
Okay, I'm going to organize Jake's stuff now. A pile for homework, a pile for academic or something else, a pile for empty folders and empty notebooks. I don't know what to do with this card.

TLDR MATERIAL

Sitting down is dumb.

My butt is sore from siting so I'm lying down, but soon my arm will get tired in this position so I'll have to sit back down.

Wisconsin

Wisconsin or no? I must decide!

I'm losing my mind.

I said something super funny earlier today and everybody laughed, but I completely forgot what it was. Dang it! I am losing my mind. I really wanted to share this moment with my fan base. I hope it's okay to call you, my followers, my fanbase. I don't want to make you all feel like just a number to me, because you're not! I love and appreciate each and every one of you!

Okay, since I'm not getting much done tonight, I will be going to bed early because if I stay up any later, I would have to eat cereal.

For all my followers, here is an amusing photo of my favorite fish.

Here is a video to show you all I am a sick person. I wish I could post something happy and not something bad "Why can't it be something happy? Why does it have to be something bad?" But it's in my nature. Sorry guys. I hope I don't lose your... no, I'm not going to post the video of The Human Centipede because it's scary. Instead, I will post something happy.

I told Jake I was itchy and he just tickled me! Also, my neck really hurts. I think I have a neck tumor. Today, I posted a link to something, I can't remember what, and then two seconds later, Amanda posts a different link to an awesome site! I was completely shut down once more by the one person I am completely intimidated by.

K, now I'm really going to bed. Sorry if this post was tldr material. I really had a lot on my mind.

Mad Loves,
JaySizzle

Chopsticks

I wish I could use chopsticks. But I am afraid to practice using them in front of other people. So I just put them behind my ear, hoping that the way of the chopsticks would get to my brain. Sometimes, I put one behind each ear. They're also good for itching backs. Right now, they are in the spiral part of my notebook. I don't know why, but I think it's cool.

Sometimes

Sometimes, I feel tall. Sometimes I feel short. But most of the time, I feel normal.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Dear followers,

I've been watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." It's pretty funny. It makes me wonder - why isn't it sunny in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh and Philadelphia live in the same state, but we don't get the same sun. Why is that? I wish there was a show called, "It's Always Sunny in Pittsburgh," then maybe we will get more sun. When there's more sun, then I become a nicer person. I don't like who I am when it is cloudy. Today, I got three records in Mario Kart (all in the special cup, YEAH-UH). Anyway, I just wanted to share that with you all because my friends in school don't care about my life. If it was sunny in Pittsburgh, I would have less of an excuse to stay indoors and play Mario Kart all day. So maybe it is better that "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" instead of Pittsburgh. Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to play stuff. I hate struggling with technology. It makes me feel incompetent. Talha just tapped my belly. I giggled. Jake is touching my butt with his foot and it's making me feel a little uncomfortable. But I can beat him. I'm just going to sit here and let him do this unspeakable thing to me and hope he gives up. Today, I am wearing all green! Ben thought it looked like a green dress. I don't know how I feel about that. Amanda told me I was pretty today. That boosted my self-confidence a little. I wish it was more socially acceptable for guys to wear dresses. I would be totally be up on that like nobody's business! Okay, I'm done for today. Until next time!

Mad Loves,
JaySizzle

Went to the grocery store.

The bus took forever to arrive. My grocery store experience was uneventful, so I will not tell anyone about it except for all three of my followers. Nothing happened. Do not type anything. I am now unpacking my grocery store items. This is probably the most exciting part of my day, right next to beating a record in Mario Kart.

I LOVE MARIO KART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First REAL Post

Amanda's Day from my Perspective

1. Burned finger boiling pasta
2. Forgot what a touchpad was called on a laptop while posting on my blog
3. Wore a fleece today with full sun, 60 degree weather and was too hot
4. Instead of falling asleep again today in Water Resources (and avoid making an addition to this list) she worked on homework while ignoring the lecture

JA-KA-BA's Day from my Perspective

1. Slept for 9+ hours and then claimed to have remained awake from 2am-7am without falling asleep
2. Wrote a very introspective post defending his love for Glee (this is a musical/comedy/drama TV series on Fox for those that have chosen to avoid it)
3. *complained, complained complained, feelings, feelings, feelings*
4. Asked if he should email or call Berkeley about finances/advisor. I said email, he calls, he's shut down and told to email

Talha's Alley

1. California is doing well, they have Las Vegas

ShimoShimo

1. Kept his door closed all morning just so I couldn't use his microwave
2. Locked the door while in the bathroom. I had to go before class, but again blocked. Clear violation of the open door policy

New Laptop!

Dear follower,

I just wanted to announce that I recently purchased a new laptop with MULTITOUCH TOUCHPAD! I can now zoom in and out with two fingers! THIS IS SO EXCITING. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE! Thank you, Jake for tolerating me as a roommate and for letting me use your monitor. K Gotta bounce to class! Peace, Jake! Thanks for following me and for promoting my blog to our mutual friends. Feel free to promote it to people I don't know either. I like having random strangers follow me.

Mad Loves,
JaySizzle

FiRST POST EVER!!!!!

Dear Internet Users,

I am proud to announce that I have joined the blogspot community. I am very excited to be here. I hope I can bring my fanbase over from my Twitter and Facebook account. Once again, I love you guys and I am so grateful for your support. Thanks for being there for me.

Mad Loves,
JaySizzle